Kiss
Puke
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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