so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
