why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
