Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
