Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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