I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
