i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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