she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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