put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
