and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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