everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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