he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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