Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
