it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
