I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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