Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
