Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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