Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
