I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
