I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
