sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I need water and some morals
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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