im about as happy as oj after his trial
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
They took my balls.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
