Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
