Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry about my life...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
