She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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