But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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