I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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