She announced her abortion via fbk
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
