just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
