weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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