Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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