yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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