the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he puts the penis in happiness.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
