the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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