Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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