im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
