Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
