We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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