the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
