You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
