Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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