Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
