yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
