Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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