I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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