Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark

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(831): View more from California

i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3

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(845): View more from New York

Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD

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(801): View more from Utah

the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome

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(954): View more from Florida

If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.

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(+61): View more from Australia

We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere

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(623): View more from Arizona

By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.

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(317): View more from Indiana

IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.

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