I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
