Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
