She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
