he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
